For example, asking things like: This gets her talking about her childhood and actually feeling these good emotions. What is your most embarrassing moment? Best way to relax? What is the weirdest thing about you? Favorite all time movie? Beer, wine or coffee? If you could retire tomorrow what would you do?
Super powers you wish you had? What would you do with your lottery winnings? What is one food you will never give up?
Ok now about your looks. Do you have a nickname?
If Hollywood made a movie about your life what would it be rated and who would be the star? Tell me a secret. Do you like the taste of beer? Do you have any tattoos? Do you have any piercings? Do you work out? If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go? Think back to the best Christmas morning you ever had…. Do you have a stuffed animal that you sleep with? What are you most proud of? Who is the most important person in your life? If I asked your best friends your 3 best qualities what would they say?
Are you closer to your dad or your mom?
If you could do anything in the world without fear of failure what would you do? Are you a good friend? Who has had the greatest impact on your life? If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What is your biggest insecurity? Has a book ever changed your life? Are you close to your family? If you only had six months to live what would be the top 3 things you would do?
Quick future projection Me and you are on a road trip. What kind of car are we in and where are we going? What was your first car? Tell me about your best friend. Tell me about your family. Nude beach yes or no?
Where is the craziest place you have ever had sex? Have you ever kissed a girl? What do you rate yourself as a kisser on a 1 to 10 scale?
Hot make up sex or slow romantic sex? Have you ever watched porn? Do you like it? What turns you on more than anything? What turns you off more than anything? Ever had a one night stand?
After our first conversation, I got a phone call from an unknown number. If you could do anything in the world without fear of failure what would you do? That way you guys can meet safely, see if you like each other in person, and then move forward or not from there. Clothing prep, traveling, the date, then heading back home takes a lot of time. Just wondering, how long is too long to wait for him to initiate communication, and when "too long" gets here, should I text him first? Do you have any tattoos? You can't at this stage, but I think it's highly unlikely that he's doing either of the latter two things if he's on a 'serious' dating site.
So, are we exclusive? Focus on what you can control--the use of the dating site and coping effectively with the tough emotions of romantic interest, anxiety and anticipation. Assume you'll have to reup to the dating site and this process will take from months. My biggest piece of advice re online dating-out yourself out there, and meet in person ASAP.
Don't take too long building a "relationship" online-meet and see if any of the virtual chemistry translates to real life.
And remember, numbers game here. Don't pin all your hopes on this one guy-sounds a bit like you're doing that-this is just one guy, and if it doesn't go forward, that means absolutely nothing about you and your prospects for future dating. I'm early 40s, female, married to the guy I met on match.
Online dating can fall deeply into a trap of emailing, texting and IMing and people analyzing what somebody they've never actually met means by whether they do or don't do those things on a specific schedule. So can real life dating but with a lot of added information about how that person acts around you and how they treat you.
On thing that gets in a lot of people's way is that the etiquette of internet dating is still being felt out by people, and while there are a significant group of people still in the traditional, real world 'women shouldn't make the first move' camp, there are also a significant group of people in the Internet is scary 'men should let the women decide when they're comfortable meeting someone in the real world' camp.
You can see how a woman who worries about the former talking to a man who worries about the latter could go in circles forever. Text him whenever you want and say you feel like you're ready to meet up in person. If he's still interested, he will reply saying so and you two can make plans to actually meet. Then you can move onto driving yourself crazy with how long it takes him to text you after a date instead of before. Two phone calls is probably enough. It's time to meet up in person, so that you're not wasting time on someone with whom you have no chemistry.
It doesn't really matter who suggests it, or how, in my opinion. And him just keeping a 'database' of future potentials he's chatted to, without wanting to meet yet, would be There's also no reason to not keep using the dating site. Don't wait for the membership to run out. If it works out with this guy, great. If not there's no harm in keeping up the quest while you decide. It's not like you guys exchanged rings and decided to be exclusive. You've barely even started with this guy.
I wouldn't even say you are dating, so there's no harm in continuing to look. Do you have any time this week to grab dinner, or a happy-hour drink? Done, ball is definitely in his court. Too long is maybe a couple days. If he's silent for a couple days then he's maybe into you but not excited about you, and you should find someone who's excited about you.
Just message him and ask him to meet up. If he demurs but doesn't propose an alternate time, move on.
I'm female, currently doing online dating, just met a guy last Sat night with whom I previously had 2 phone conversations. Nice dude, zero chemistry, moving on. Salamander's postscript brings up a fantastic point: That's why it's far better to get the meeting out of the way-- coffee or something-- so you can learn these additional little things about someone. For example, if they can't work out where the coffeeshop is even with explicit directions. I'm amending my original suggestion.
Ask him for coffee sometime. The first time you meet shouldn't be a full-on date, but a prelude to one. Female, early thirties, half a dozen plus years into a LTR that started on an online dating site - Don't spend too much time doing the chatty thing on the phone. I exchanged chatty emails with guys, but no more than before we made a date. People seem to spend all this time in on-line dating purgatory exchanging emails - I didn't see too much point to that, to me, the website and the messaging was just a vehicle to meeting people in person.
And how not to screw it up: Don't have too much patience for screwing around with texting and short phone calls etc. I'd suggest something like "Hey X, great to talk to you Saturday. I'd like to get together with you for coffee or drinks. And listen to purenitrous too. Just suggest coffee already. Always always meet for coffee as soon as you think the person seems great enough to merit 30 minutes of your time. Don't drag it out.
No date, no meal, a brief in-person meet in public. If, after that, you both want it to go longer, it will. If you both want it to merge in to lunch or dinner, or a walk with the dog, it will. One time, I met a guy for coffee and immediately thought he was gay even if he wasn't, he was way too effeminate for my taste. We shared a polite 20 minutes of coffee and wished each other well. No harm done, little time wasted, next steps clear. Another time, another guy, it turned in to breakfast, then yes a hike with the dog, then he cooked me dinner and we talked for hours.
That was 10 years ago. How did you leave the last conversation? In most of my online-dating experience, most people kind of hate the phone part my god, I would happily go from email to in person and not do the phone AT ALL and use it only as polite "next step" before the In Person meeting. Why aren't you guys moving toward meeting?
That would be insane. Text him when you would text a new friend.
Try to remind yourself that this is not that big a deal. You might not even like him when you meet him. I agree that you should cut to the chase, though. And be aware that there WILL be guys who want to yada yada yada endlessly without asking you out -- I once exchanged emails with a guy in my city who emailed me like ten times and then announced he wanted to SKYPE before we met.
That's a waste of everyone's time, in my opinion. So get the show on the road! Personally, I always suggest a cocktail, but that's because I like a little liquid courage and the lighting in Starbucks is terrible. Just freakin' call him. Maybe he's trying not to sound desperate, and so is waiting for your call. Maybe he really just happens to be busy the rest of today.
The only way to find out is to call him. Do not overthink this. Agreeing with those above who say to arrange a meeting ASAP. This will resolve the vast majority of your concerns, one way or another. I'll go away after this, but since it's clearly a topic that's close to my heart ; , I just popped back in to address these other questions: This being and not , yes, it's okay nay, desirable, especially if he's done all the initiating so far for you to initiate a conversation. A good time, in my experience, is about pm on a weeknight.
People have had time to get home from work, started to relax, etc. To make it even lower pressure, I might text rather than call. Weekdays during work hours are not as good because, well, work: You can't at this stage, but I think it's highly unlikely that he's doing either of the latter two things if he's on a 'serious' dating site.